As I was reading Moving beyond Shame by bell hooks it reminded me of how I felt in the past. During my formative years in school as a minority in most classes and being separated because I was doing better in school than other blacks. At times I started looking at myself and wondering "why" am I in these classes? Do I belong? What are my friends thinking about me? Not only are you trying to prove yourself in the world in which you are unwanted, but you are trying to make sure you can fully participate in the world in which you belong. As a black male in the 80's you were either "street" which meant your were "hard or tough" or you were a sellout or trying to be white!
In my neighborhood it didn't help being a light-skinned black male and being separated during school hours because you tested better or that you had two parents that made you do homework and read and prepare for school on a daily basis. The story of the young female Ph.D. student that had a chance to work at a prestigious Ivy League school hit home. She was doubting herself because of her lack of confidence. This was brought on by a society that states you do not belong and only if you conform or excel at a higher rate than the majority will you be accepted. Self-esteem and self worth comes from within and when you do not have positive role models that are present and participating in your life, especially in the black community, then your mom and your dad become the street influence and media.
The media does help shape the negative opinions of the majority as it pertains to certain groups. Indians, blacks and women have been portrayed with negative characteristics throughout the history of movie, TV and print media. This largely in part because none of those groups are present in the room during the creative process. TV and movie producers, along with directors who are black don't get the large budget films.
Mr. Nigger : The Challenges of Educating Black Males Within American Society written by Toby Jenkins, WOW! The fact presented by Noguera that a black male with a college degree earns less than the average White male with a high school diploma reinforces why there is such hopelessness in the black community.
I grew up in the Hip-Hop culture! I was in the generation that listened to what the rappers were saying in their lyrics and was amazed about the things that were going on in LA and in the southern states. This was the 80's and 90's and we were hearing about the same things that we reading about in our history books from the 40's, 50's and 60's. No there weren't lynching's or burnings but there was the "Three Strike" rule! There was racial profiling!Hip-Hop has given the black community a voice and if used properly will continue to produce a want to change our society.
As one who comes from a family of educated black men, growing up I thought it was the individual choice to either be educated or not. That turned out not to be totally true! I do believe we make our own choices, however the systematic covert and sometimes overt destruction of the black male and the black family also plays a part in where we are at this time. We don't get second chances or the benefit of the doubt! We have to deal with life as it is and it can be depressing at times to know that you may never be equal.
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